Introspection
My Journey to Austin has been more of a journey of discovery than I ever could have imagined training for and completing 26.2 miles to be.
I have a (can I call it a habit, since this is only my third?) thing I do after marathons. I tend to run through the actual race, the culmination of 9 months of preparation, about a hundred times after I cross the finish line. Right after the race, I do it out loud – to whoever appears to care. At first, I thought it was because I was overly pleased with myself. Then I thought maybe it was looking for praise for my accomplishments. To some, maybe it seems self-absorbed. Now, I understand that it is so much different than that. Tonite when I finally found peace after the chaos of the last few days, I realized something. What I’m actually doing is etching the experience into my soul, integrating it into the fabric of who I am. I’m trying not to forget a single detail.
In May, I made a promise to Sarah. I promised that I would stick by her to the finish.
On Sunday, we were confronted with what put me in a moral predicament. In recent weeks, Sarah’s knee had been called into question. She did everything she could to be able to run the Austin Marathon. At some point in the beginning, it was clear that this was a marathon to finish, not a marathon to run.
One thing I can say about Sarah (and said a million times since Sunday), that girl can walk. She is SO FAST that I can’t keep up with her walking. For the sake of my hip flexors, I had to jog. This jogging was a stride I hadn’t practiced in my training runs, and it was a cadence I didn’t think I could endure for the rest of the marathon.
She told me to go on. She was adamant that she was going to finish. I almost broke down in tears. Jogging was hurting me. But I have honor, and I refused to break my promise to her. She told me she relinquished me from my promise. I was torn because I wanted to do this WITH her, but it was clear that I had to finish on my own. Knowing Sarah, I knew it wasn’t emotional support she needed. She would find the strength inside herself, and she didn’t need me to help her do it. I knew all that, but I wanted to make sure the officials wouldn’t make her stop. Because that would have sucked.
We made it to the 10.3 mark – a pivotal milestone because if we got there after a certain point, they would make you finish at the half marathon. We cleared that marker with plenty of time to spare. At the split, I hit the next potty stop and Sarah chose to go on ahead. I told her I would catch up. When I ran to her, my body screamed in relief. I had hit my stride. I can’t recall the mile – maybe 12? I said I gotta run, and She told me to run strong, gave me a fist bump. With the knocking of the knuckles, Sarah would be with me the entire way to the finish even if we didn’t finish together.
Every mile, I thought of her. And its irony is not lost on me, that we trained through this together in spirit – tracking each other’s work out on the blog, passing emails and messages, and chatting over the internet. We didn’t even talk on the phone until just before the race. But in spirit, Sarah was with me for every trial and tribulation of the training experience. And just when we thought that we were going to be physically together for the race, we had to roll with the situation we were given, and run together once again in Spirit. I think we do it quite well!
( the finishers shirt they gave us says “Austin26.2″ with “finisher” underneath)
I have learned today that if I listen to my body, it will let me know what it needs. I drank water when my body said no more anything ‘Ade’ power or otherwise. When I craved it, I drank the powerade. I ate when I got hungry – powerbars or gu. When I started craving salt, and my head started pounding, I knew what was going on. I had drank too much water, and my body needed salt. The aide stations didn’t have any. As gross as it may sound, I started licking the sweat off my arms and the back of my hands. I’m a salty sweater, and knew it would get me by until I found someone who had what I needed. I finally found A man from Austin Fit Orange Support gave me a potato and provided me with salt to dip it in. With that salty bite, the headache subsided, and my energy returned. I was amazed at when I listened to what my body had to say, it wasn’t wrong, and I was relieved at how much better I felt.
I have found in my marathon career (hahah!) that I am an emotional marathoner. I proved to be a spiritual one today as well.
At one point, near my “wall”, I passed a boy and his mother standing on the sidewalk. The little boy was drawing on the sidewalk with a bucket of chalk… I stopped just after I passed them by, and retreated to ask him if I could use a piece to leave my friend a note.
“GO SARAH! <3 DARCY” in BIG PINK LETTERS. I handed the chalk back to his mom and said “If you are here when she comes by, tell her I love her and I’m thinking of her”. (In hearing Sarah’s story, the lady and her boy weren’t there any more, but the note was)
At mile 18ish, the Weezer song “Best Friend” came on, and I promptly broke down into tears as I thought of Dale, and all he did to make this possible.
Around town, at moments of weakness, I saw signs of shops with the name of a close friend of mine in it. She was my guardian angel. Thinking of her during those moments made me smile. She is a woman I admire, a friend I love, and I’m so happy she was there with me.
Another stop, I came upon a man standing with his three children. Much the age span of my babies, and similar in appearance, and I remembered just how much I love them, and how much this has taught me how to be me while being a mama. I promptly broke down in tears.
When I finished that marathon, I knew sarah would too. I just knew it. I waited. and waited. debated what to do next. I was without a cell phone, but I knew they would find me. I checked with the aid station to just make sure she hadn’t checked out of the race, and with their reassurance, I made my way back up the course. Feebly. I was deteremined to find her.
When I saw her finally round that corner, with Chris along side her, I knew everything was perfect in my small little Austin Marathon world. Sure, we hurt, but man we are TOUGH AS NAILS. And once again, Sarah cemented the fact that she will always be one of my most admired friends. In everything that she does, marathoning or anything else she sets her mind to, she never ceases to amaze and inspire me. I am honored to have traveled this journey with Sarah by my side.
STRONG WORK SARAH.
And on Sunday, February 15th, in the awesome, kind, friendly city of Austin, TX, I learned a life lesson. On how to accept who I am, listen to my body, and love what I do.
I may do it on my own, but I am NEVER alone. That was my journey.
